The toxic ex-spouse does not respect the limits of their relationship with their ex-husband. Here are guidelines and some suggestions that will help you understand the actions of a toxic ex-spouse.
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They do not respect your privacy. While you're divorced, they believe they have a right to understand who you're doing it with and what you do. There's an effort to control and a difference between friendly interaction. Learn to understand that difference.
Your kids will be used by them against you. This type of toxic ex-spouse comes in various forms. They turn your children against you by bad mouthing you along with your actions to the children. Or, they go as far as left their children for some wrong doing they believe you've done to penalize you. This is a hurt and very dangerous individual.
You will be blamed by them for their unhappiness. It does not matter what they're not happy about; you'll get the blame. Should they cause their kids to become eventually upset and handle their kids poorly, you may be accused. Should they simply not be able to rest, have car trouble or lose their job, you'll be accused. You may go months at a time without speaking to them or seeing them but, you can bet that if something bad happens, you'll be accused.
Some will go as far as calling failure for the targets their kids set. This is symptomatic of a mindset that is manipulative and vengeful and any opinions from such a person should be blown off.
They will use you as an explanation for their poor behavior. Should they decide to disregard the needs of their kids, you can bet it's going to be because of anything you caused or said. To live with their poor choices, by making it seem that they had no choice, they should relieve the guilt. All their poor choices are made based on some inaccurate thing you did to them...in their head, anyhow.
They are going to use the court process to remain engaged. They'll defy court orders understanding you'll take them back to court. It is a passive/aggressive manner of keeping a link to an ex - spouse. They get to use the court process to remain connected with you and, to penalize you. This is one excellent reason behind ensuring you've got an excellent settlement agreement before you sign your divorce documents.