Real Life Divorce Disputes You Might Like to Read

March 22, 2017
jwilson2022
From time to time we have to laugh at the stories of others. Enjoy! Feel free to forward on to your current married friends. 

Divorce is a serious situation for all individuals and families that are involved. The stories below are meant to take a step back and laugh, cringe, and realize what can go on in a divorce. If you are thinking about a divorce please contact Deborah Besserman, a Madison County and St. Clair County, Illinois divorce lawyer, who also specializes in personal injury law.

Well this will get buried but oh well....not me but my pops is an attorney.

So he is doing this case back in the early 90s. He is representing the wife and the case has been ugly. Both sides were cheating before the divorce, and they guy is pissed that his wife filed since they were both cheating.

So they are doing the case, going to court and mediating who gets the house, cars, money and that bs and the guy is a real asshole about everything. Wife is too my pops says. Just a real ugly divorce.

So it's getting to the boil point and the husband says to my dad and his client "I'm going to kill this bitch and right after I kill her I am going to come kill you" pointing at my dad.

That same night, he went to her house, shot her killing her, and was on his way to our house to I guess kill my dad when he got pulled over, cop thought he was drunk, he was, arrested him for DUI. Later he went to prison for murdering his wife.

I thought that was the craziest one of his divorce stories.


I saw a mother and father live together and fight over the location of the Xbox and WIi. The games were in the family living room. The father took the games from the living room and put them in his bedroom. The children then spent all the time in the father's bedroom. The mother literally went to court to obtain an order that the xbox and WII be returned to the living room. They spent thousands on this.

Divorcee, not a lawyer but I remember the blank stare from the lawyer I was paying $250 an hour to handle my case with my husband when I told him our biggest marital asset was our $10,000 Magic the Gathering card collection.

How much time you got?

God, I'm afraid to post anything too detailed here in case it was recognized... with that In mind, I'll speak broadly...

I'm on my phone, so pardon the mess-ups. Also, I'm going to write in stream of consciousness fashion so as to make grammatical errors less glaring.

As far as craziness, I've seen more than once (but thankfully not too often) parents alleging their spouse committed sex crimes against them or their children, rape/abuse/fondling, etc. This is a "nuclear" option for parties as a lot of times those types of allegations can be life ruining. It is nothing other than the most evil thing one parent could do to another.

I saw a divorce last year between an old guy and a much younger wife wherein their "differences" arose due to her enjoying mischievously sticking a finger up his *********** He protested (I'm paraphrasing a sister case complaint where he also sued her for damages). Despite his protests, she did it again. This happened maybe one or two more times. He became very angry, they separated. They then settled down, talked, ended up having make-up sex... and during which.... You guessed it, she did it again. He filed for divorce and claimed she punctured his colon, he had to have surgery and rehab. And he sued her for damages. (This is rather detailed but I don't care, it's all public record and it's not my case).

I've seen nearly a dozen spouse swaps. I.e. One spouse cheats on his friends wife, it causes a divorce for both parties, and their respective spouses (wife of first party and husband of second) end up getting together. Happens quite often for whatever reason.

A lot of crazy shit lately involves older couples where one of the parties is starting to suffer dementia or Alzheimer's, or both, and/or some terminal illness ( usually older couples). Crazy stories of violence and murderous threats. As an example, "I'm dying, but I'll be damned if you're not coming with me... I'll kill you then I'll kill myself, and we can be done with this damned world!!!" These poor old guys become quite fey when their own mortality is knocking on the door. I've seen a lot of these lately. It's so sad, 40-50 year marriages just crumbling apart at the end.

You see couples destroyed by alcohol, drugs, gambling, and other addictions. Saw a case with a suicide during/ because of the divorce (fricking awful for everyone).

There was a case recently (very wealthy couple) where the husband had cheated over a long marriage but it was never a problem. It was only when, during the most recent affair the wife could not abide, and that was because it was a homosexual affair.

Man, so much horrible awful crap going through my head... I'll try to check back later and add some more.

I'm not a lawyer. But there was a case where a man found out that his wife was having an affair. Heartbroken, he found a lawyer for his divorce, told him the whole story and let his emotions loose on him. In court it was found out that his lawyer was the man his wife was having the affair with. The lawyer got his license taken away for a while and the lawyer defended himself in court on a misconduct case where you can read about him questioning the client

Not a divorce lawyer but a child of divorce. Happened when I was about six or seven, am eighteen now. I learnt this about a year ago.

My mother often likes to talk about how my father didn't offer any financial assistance during the divorce and his involvement was purely selfish, and a common thing she's told me is that he's never paid for my schooling, which is true post divorce. However, what I learnt was that during the divorce he offered to pay for half of all of my school fees. She instead chose child support, which he has paid for every year.

She also took all of their combined savings out and into my (six years old at the time) bank account, which my father had no access to. This meant when showing bank statements, my father had more money than my mother.

Ive lost some respect for her since then.

After college I worked in a Law Firm dealing with family law and have a ton of stories: 1) At one time we had almost a dozen cases of high military personnel going through divorces because their wives came out of the closet after all their children grew up. 2) We had a client who was wealthy, but going through a divorce cause she was going crazy. She dressed like a homeless person, smelled like shit, and once I delivered a copy of her husband's discover to her and her house looked like a dump. I literally thought she was gonna kill me and bury me under the piles and piles of crap in her place. She also kept harassing her husband and his girlfriend, vandalizing the car, writing whore on the door of the condo, etc. We had to drop her as a client after she kept disobeying her attorney, etc. 3) We had a wealthy client who married a girl he met during tango classes and they had a child. He spent over half a million fighting for custody and she kept accusing him of sexual abusing their daughter, to try and win, etc. Each side hired psychologists and experts and in the end, it didn't matter if it wasn't the truth, the mother kept telling the girl she was abused and the experts said it was gonna damage her regardless. He eventually won partial custody. After two years of working there, I realized I didn't want to be a lawyer and I don't want to get married, haha.

FAMILY LAW • DIVORCE • CUSTODY • SUPPORT

Family Law FAQs — Organized by State

These frequently asked questions cover common divorce and family law issues in Missouri and Illinois. Each question is clearly labeled by state so updates remain easy to track over time. This page is general educational information and not legal advice.

Laws and outcomes vary. Talk with an attorney to understand options for your specific facts and jurisdiction.

Divorce Basics

Filing, no-fault rules, timing, and separation requirements—labeled by state.

MISSOURI How do I file for divorce in Missouri?
To file for divorce in Missouri, at least one spouse must have lived in Missouri for 90 days before filing. Divorce cases are filed in the circuit court of the county where either spouse resides.
MISSOURI Is Missouri a no-fault divorce state?
Yes. Missouri is a no-fault state. You do not have to prove adultery, abuse, or wrongdoing—only that the marriage is “irretrievably broken.”
MISSOURI How long does a divorce take in Missouri?
Missouri has a minimum 30-day waiting period, but most divorces take 3–12 months, depending on custody disputes, property issues, and court schedules.
MISSOURI Do I need my spouse’s permission to get divorced?
No. One spouse can file for divorce even if the other objects.
ILLINOIS How do I file for divorce in Illinois?
One spouse must have lived in Illinois for at least 90 days before filing. Cases are filed in the circuit court of the appropriate county.
ILLINOIS Is Illinois a no-fault divorce state?
Yes. Illinois only allows no-fault divorce based on irreconcilable differences.
ILLINOIS How long does a divorce take in Illinois?
Uncontested divorces can be finalized in as little as a few months, while contested cases often take 9–18 months.
ILLINOIS Do we have to be separated before divorcing?
Illinois law presumes irreconcilable differences if spouses have lived apart for 6 months, but the court's no longer require an affidavit of living separately for any length of time.

Property & Finances

Equitable distribution, the house, retirement accounts, and maintenance/alimony.

MISSOURI Is Missouri a community property state?
No. Missouri follows equitable distribution, meaning marital property is divided fairly—not necessarily 50/50.
MISSOURI What counts as marital property in Missouri?
Generally, assets acquired during the marriage—including income, retirement accounts, and real estate—are marital property, regardless of whose name is on them.
MISSOURI Who gets the house in a Missouri divorce?
There’s no automatic rule. Courts consider factors like financial contributions, custody arrangements, and each spouse’s ability to maintain the home.
MISSOURI Will I have to pay spousal maintenance (alimony)?
Possibly. Missouri courts look at need, ability to pay, length of marriage, and earning capacity. Maintenance can be temporary or long-term.
ILLINOIS Is Illinois a community property state?
No. Illinois follows equitable distribution, not automatic 50/50 division.
ILLINOIS What is considered marital property in Illinois?
Most assets and debts acquired during the marriage, regardless of title.
ILLINOIS How are retirement accounts divided?
Often through a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO)—errors here can be extremely expensive.
ILLINOIS Will I receive or pay maintenance (alimony)?
Illinois uses statutory guidelines based on income, marriage length, and financial need, though courts may deviate.

Child Custody & Support

Best-interest standards, parenting time, and how support is calculated.

MISSOURI How is child custody decided in Missouri?
Custody decisions are based on the best interests of the child, considering stability, parental involvement, and the child’s needs.
MISSOURI Does Missouri favor mothers in custody cases?
No. Missouri law is gender-neutral. Courts often favor arrangements that allow frequent and meaningful contact with both parents.
MISSOURI What types of custody exist in Missouri?
  • Legal custody (decision-making)
  • Physical custody (where the child lives)
Both can be joint or sole.
MISSOURI How is child support calculated?
Missouri uses Form 14, which considers income, parenting time, healthcare costs, and childcare expenses.
ILLINOIS Does Illinois still use the term “custody”?
No. Illinois now uses allocation of parental responsibilities and parenting time.
ILLINOIS How does Illinois decide parenting time?
Based on the best interests of the child, including stability, cooperation, and each parent’s involvement.
ILLINOIS Can a child choose which parent to live with?
A child’s wishes may be considered, but no child decides custody outright.
ILLINOIS What happens if one parent violates the parenting schedule?
Courts can impose fines, modify parenting time, or hold the parent in contempt.
ILLINOIS How is child support calculated in Illinois?
Illinois may use an income shared model, considering both parents’ income and time with the child based on overnights.
ILLINOIS Does parenting time affect child support?
Yes. Overnights and shared parenting significantly impact calculations.
ILLINOIS Can child support be modified?
Yes, if there’s a substantial change in circumstances (job loss, income change, medical issues).

Special & High-Conflict Issues

Pregnancy, hidden assets, relocation, domestic violence, and enforcement.

MISSOURI Can I get divorced while pregnant in Missouri?
Yes, but courts may delay final custody decisions until after birth.
MISSOURI What if my spouse is hiding assets?
Courts can impose penalties, reopen judgments, and award additional property if concealment is proven.
MISSOURI Can I move out with my children during a divorce?
This can seriously impact custody. Always talk to an attorney before relocating.
MISSOURI Do I need a lawyer for an uncontested divorce?
Legally no—but mistakes can be costly and irreversible, especially with property and custody.
ILLINOIS What if there is domestic violence?
Illinois courts can issue Orders of Protection immediately and prioritize safety.
ILLINOIS Can I move out of state with my child after divorce?
Relocation may require court approval or parental agreement depending upon the mileage involved.
ILLINOIS What if my spouse won’t cooperate?
Courts can compel disclosure, enforce deadlines, and impose sanctions.
ILLINOIS Do I really need a lawyer if we “agree on everything”?
Many people think they agree—until tax consequences, retirement, or future enforcement becomes an issue.

Want answers specific to your situation?

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Disclaimer: The information on this website is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. No attorney-client relationship is formed by viewing this website. Legal outcomes depend on the facts of each case. Consult a licensed attorney for legal advice regarding your specific situation.
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